Luke 14:1 One Shabbat Yeshua went to eat in the home of one of the leading P’rushim, and they were watching him closely. 2 In front of him was a man whose body was swollen with fluid. 3 Yeshua spoke up and asked the Torah experts and P’rushim, “Does the Torah allow healing on Shabbat or not?” 4 But they said nothing. So, taking hold of him, he healed him and sent him away. 5 To them he said, “Which of you, if a son or an ox falls into a well, will hesitate to haul him out on Shabbat?” 6 And to these things they could give no answer.
7 When Yeshua noticed how the guests were choosing for themselves the best seats at the table, he told them this parable: 8 “When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, don’t sit down in the best seat; because if there is someone more important than you who has been invited, 9 the person who invited both of you might come and say to you, ‘Give this man your place.’ Then you will be humiliated as you go to take the least important place. 10 Instead, when you are invited, go and sit in the least important place; so that when the one who invited you comes, he will say to you, ‘Go on up to a better seat.’ Then you will be honored in front of everyone sitting with you. 11 Because everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but everyone who humbles himself will be exalted.”
12 Yeshua also said to the one who had invited him, “When you give a lunch or a dinner, don’t invite your friends, brothers, relatives or rich neighbors; for they may well invite you in return, and that will be your repayment. 13 Instead, when you have a party, invite poor people, disfigured people, the crippled, the blind! 14 How blessed you will be that they have nothing with which to repay you! For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”
Go to any event and you will see clearly how people view themselves when compared to others. It doesn’t need to be a wedding feast or major event. It’s everywhere.
Why is that?
Is it because we need a better view? Or are we hard of hearing and need to be close?
Or is it because we love it when other people see us as important?
I’d guess this here is probably closer to the truth. Having others be envious of us seems to give us a fair amount of validation. Flaunting our status and hanging it out there for all to enjoy.
Boy, we sure do love baiting people into violating the 10th commandment, don’t we?
“Look at all the stuff I have. Look at my position, look at my things, look at my life. Don’t you want that for yourself? Yeah, well…if you work hard and make connections like I did you may be able to get a taste of this for yourself. But today, at this wedding, I’m the one sitting up front.”
The funny part of this is that once you go home behind closed doors, reality sets in. You’re not as flashy and big city as you were at that party, huh? Everyone at home knows who you really are.
We know who we are, don’t we? And it isn’t that person that belongs in the best seat. (Unless, of course, we are deluded into believing lies about ourselves. But that’s beyond the scope of being a follower of the Messiah. We’re supposed to be much, much different than those in the world.)
Is there a way we can test this daily and not have to wait for a wedding to check ourselves?
Sure.
In the same way we seek position, we love decorating ourselves so others see us as attractive. Now, this isn’t a “self-esteem” issue, despite your best effort to paint it as such. If your self-esteem is lifted because you lure the opposite sex into sin, then it’s time to reevaluate your definition of self-esteem.
Simply speaking, men want to be fit and handsome, and women want to be hot and sexy. This is good but it’s only good for our spouses.
But it isn’t just for our spouses or else we’d restrict it to the home. And we don’t.
We love turning heads, huh?
Or framed a bit differently, we love enticing others into sexual sin. If we can get them to want us then we must be important. So important, in fact, that husbands and wives of others will look upon us and wish they had a chance at what we have to offer.
One motivation, two commandments violated. Two birds with one stone -- but not in a good way.
“Not me,” you say, “I’m incredibly modest and do not seek any attention at all.”
Kudos to you. Be careful, though.
Be sure you do not falsely humble yourself secretly wanting to be esteemed among others.
“Well, I know my dear friends really wouldn’t want me at the back table at their child’s wedding. But I’ll go ahead and put myself there so they’ll come hunt me down and my parade to the front will be humbly glorious. Everyone will then know for absolute certain how humble I truly am.”
But what if they don’t come to bring you closer? How would that settle on you? The anger and humiliation would likely destroy the relationship. But it isn’t your friend that’s guilty in this situation. It’s you.
Attention grabs at this end are probably worse than parading yourself to the front on your own. At least when you do it on your own you still have them as friends (unless, of course they escort you to the lowest seat -- at which point you weren’t as good of friends as you thought :-/).
The best place to be in all of this is in the place you belong. The very bottom.
But you need to genuinely want to be in this spot. And to get here, you must view yourself as you really are, not who you think you ought to be. If you truly understood how you compare to everyone else, you’d willfully push yourself to the back.
Actually, if you truly understood your sinful state, you’d probably never leave the house.
Walking boldly and not giving a second thought to the opinion of others is an incredibly freeing experience. Not bold in the sense of not caring about others, but not caring about others’ opinions.
As a side note: In your home, you should not be wearing a sackcloth to demonstrate your lowliness. This is the one place you can demonstrate your attractiveness. Not only physical, but mental, emotional and spiritual, as well.
This also is not a commentary on being unpresentable. You should carry yourself with a degree of self-respect. Just make sure you aren’t motivated by the need to be seen or the desire to entice others.
The true issue is not really about status and appearance.
The true issue is that you have to stop needing to be noticed.
Whether you are wanting to be seen as powerful, lowly, rich, poor, sexy, modest, handsome, or homely, the issue is the same: you are wanting to be seen.
Why do you need people to notice you?
Is it because you were/are ignored?
Is it because you were abused and you’re crying out?
Is it because you judge others by their status and appearance so you expect the same from them?
What a tiring and miserable existence it must be to live in this space. Aren’t you ready to be free?
Let go of all of that. Allow yourself to be set free. View yourself for who you really are and take your seat accordingly.
There is only One opinion that matters. Let Him be the One that brings you to the front.