“Do not covet your neighbor’s house; do not covet your neighbor’s wife, his male or female slave, his ox, his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”
Isn’t this an odd command? Basically, it says to not want what other people have.
Considering the other 9 commandments are largely action-based and possess a measure of external evidence, this one here is seemingly the first to climb inside your most inner being. (Of course, we learn in the Sermon on the Mount that all of the commands are internal in nature but this is the first in the list with no clear external evidence.)
It’s quite possible (and manageable) for no one on the outside to tell whether you are violating this command or not. If you never overtly communicate that you want what others have, this one can rest fully within your own mind and heart.
But does it stay there? No. Eventually, the evidence does make an appearance. Before we get there, though, let’s see if we can’t gain some perspective on the bigger picture.
We have precisely what Abba has given us. (Except, of course, for what we’ve squandered.)
Most people are not happy with this arrangement. The prosperity teachers know it and they run quickly to meet this unmet need. They provide the hearers with what they long to hear: you deserve to be rich. Now, this gets covered in a mountain of false logic about being children of kings, light winning over darkness, cattle on a thousand hills, a good parent wanting their child to have everything, and many, many more, but it speaks directly
Think about it…the “name it and claim it” teaching is simply professional coveting. Someone has something you want, so you “name it”. And in order to close the loop you have to “claim it”. Then, poof! What was once theirs is now yours.
And people think this is divine justice. Apparently, it takes God stealing from someone else in order for us to have it. Is this really balancing the scales of good and evil?
How can people believe this is how God works? More than that, how much nerve do these charlatan teachers have to be so bold as to take money off of these people? It’s a sad, sad story and I sincerely hope conviction and repentance comes. But that’s another topic altogether.
Back to us not having enough.
I have a fundamental question that we all must consider: Why get more when we can’t even manage what we currently have?
Suppose you hired an accountant to manage your financial affairs. They were told to pay your bills (on time) and see to it that funds are allocated to investments, causes, gifts, etc based on an agreed upon distribution. For this service, you also agreed to pay for their time and effort though a wage more than sufficient to sustain a comfortable life themselves.
Now suppose this accountant decided to use your funds to pay for their new car. Or vacation. Or boat. Or << fill in the blank >>...
How would you respond? More importantly, though, why would you respond that way?
Simply speaking, it’s theft, right? This person was being trusted with your resources and they decided to take it for themselves. If the amounts were small you’d likely be annoyed and take your business elsewhere. You’d learn your lesson about that person and move on. But if the amounts were large? Now we’re talking lawsuits and perhaps prison.
Grand theft, and it happened to you.
What could possibly motivate an accountant to do something like this? Greed, sure, but suppose this were a believer? What if they were never really taught how to be an accountant? What if they thought blending finances was just how things work? Maybe they flat out don’t understand the money is not theirs to begin with.
I think this is where most sincere believers dwell. They have been put in charge of an account and have no idea what is happening with regard to the funds.
Over the course of time, we then get comfortable spending more as more comes in. We even grow to become a little stingy when it comes to giving because we are under the impression all of what we have is ours. No overt evil intent, but a quest to hold onto the grain and build bigger barns slowly creeps in to take over our lives.
Before we get to this level though, Abba sometimes runs interference and prevents you from having enough to destroy yourself. We have not been good stewards so the access to unlimited resources becomes more and more restricted. Like the accountant above, we lose sight of what the provision is for.
As our resource stream tightens around us, we look down the street and see the same thing NOT happening to our neighbor.
What gives?
Sure, you have been a poor steward but at least you are following after God with all your heart. And your neighbor? Not so much. But look at that new truck and his seemingly perfect family life. He and his family go skiing in the winter, snorkeling in the summer, and enjoy weekend trips on the lake. He gets to hire people to maintain his lawn while you’re spending the better part of your weekend just keeping the weeds at bay. The new addition to his house is there just to house his man cave and indoor pool. Your kids, on the other hand, don’t even have their own bedrooms. It seems like he and his wife love every moment of every day. You and your wife? Well, the financial stress just seems to make the wedge between you greater by the week, and happiness is really nowhere to be found.
If only…if only you could have a taste of your neighbor’s life, you’d have reason to give thanks to Abba.
When we covet (or envy) someone else, we are seeing this person as the source of life. They have everything that we want, and we then turn our worship towards them. We don’t mean to, but it ends up happening that way. As a result, our alignment with Abba becomes secondary to our alignment with the person that has everything we want.
Of course, we would never acknowledge this as our current state. We’d keep those thoughts of envy close to our vest and never whisper a word of it to anyone. But the actions of our lives speak volumes.
We work harder, we work longer. Sacrificing just a little more to take the edge off. And when that fails to deliver at an acceptable level, we look for another position. Of course it takes a while to get established in your new role and you can’t just up and take a vacation out of the gate. So you put it off. As you look around at the other folks in your similar job role you see that there is a standard of living that seems to be the theme. Upgraded car (with upgraded payments), new neighborhood (with a higher mortgage), and fancier events (that require the fancier clothes). Before you know it, you are right back where you were but this time you're on the hook for a more expensive lifestyle. So you start the process over again.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
Don’t we ultimately become content, though? Well, no.
The more I get engrained into the world, the higher up I go. A promotion puts me at an equal level with other people that have more than I have. I then rise to meet that standard and hold it until such a time as I need to to promote again. This is what we just discussed.
The funny thing about this is that we never seem to revert back to the way things were. It’s always a one-way street towards better friends who have more money than you.
But we live in an era of unprecedented wealth.
The greatest kings in history did not enjoy a life of comfort at the scale we do today. We can walk into any grocery store and purchase produce from around the world. You can take a 25-minute shower in the water temperature of your choice. You can go from where you are to almost anywhere else on earth in less than a day.
And yet, we are not at all content. How is this possible?
Because we feel as though we’re missing something. Someone somewhere has it a bit better than you. And we don’t like that. There is more happiness to be had and we’d like to get our share of that.
Does that imply we are unhappy? I’d argue that’s likely the case.
What exactly does it mean to be happy?
Interestingly, English “happiness” is not a direct Biblical category. It comes from the old Norse word hap, meaning chance, fortune, luck. Happiness in modern usage carries the idea of a pleasant emotional state dependent upon favorable circumstances. That alone should alert us.
Happiness oftentimes is comparison-driven and consumption-fed. Translation: coveting.
When happiness is defined as “having what I want”, it becomes fragile, competitive, exhausting and always slightly out of reach because someone always has more. And if my neighbor becomes the visible standard of happiness, envy follows.
Biblically, however, the word often used is אֶשֶׁר (’esher) / אַשְׁרֵי (ashrei). It means blessed, fortunate, in a state of flourishing. One who is happy is one whose life is lived straightly. This is not giddy emotion nor circumstantial pleasure. It is a condition of alignment, a state of being rightly positioned under Abba’s favor.
It describes a person whose life is ordered correctly. It is closer to: “Deeply well-off before God.”
This is covenantal, not emotional.
There is an even deeper Biblical category here: joy.
Biblical joy is שִׂמְחָה (simchah). It means gladness, rejoicing, exultation. But notice that simchah often appears in contexts of worship, covenant feasts, obedience.
It is relationally anchored. Joy is rooted in grace -- and this is critical.
Joy is not circumstantial pleasure, mood elevation, or absence of suffering. Joy is the settled assurance that I am held by God regardless of circumstance. Which is why Paul can speak of joy in prison. James can speak of joy in trials. And Yeshua can endure the cross “for the joy set before Him.”
Joy is future-secure and present-grounded.
Do we have it? Do we have true happiness?
So many of us struggle having joy and/or Biblical happiness. Instead, we let worldly happiness drive the bulk of our lives. And sometimes we confuse Kingdom joy and happiness with the fickle happiness of the world.
When joy is replaced with comparison, the heart begins searching for satisfaction elsewhere. That search has a name: coveting.
How do we go about fully laying down the pull of the world and absorbing the richness of the Kingdom?
Well, it’s actually much more difficult than you think. Why? Because it requires that we become content in all things. All things. That’s most certainly a tall order. And it’s this lack of contentment that serves as the fuel for covetousness.
So why aren’t we content?
It’s usually because we think we deserve more than we have. More money, a better spouse, more stuff, etc. But do we really deserve more? Not a chance. Abba has entrusted each person with a portion sufficient for their calling and season. But most of us struggle to set aside what we do have for that purpose. A lot of people will just spend (or bury) any windfall that comes their way on themselves anyway so there is little reason to expect increase if what is entrusted to us is not stewarded faithfully.
Before we unpack this idea any further, let’s see if we can wrap our head around the concept of contentment.
One word commonly used for contentment is חֵלֶק (cheleq). This word is extremely important. It means assigned portion, inheritance, allotted share. Psalm 16 gives us really good context:
Psalm 16:5 YHVH is my portion and my cup; you support my lot.
Here is the concept: God Himself is my assigned portion. Contentment flows from recognizing that you have not randomly landed here. Your “lot” is supervised. Your boundaries are measured.
How does this relate to coveting? If God assigns portions, then coveting is questioning His distribution. It’s questioning His wisdom. It’s questioning His judgment.
Yeshua addressed this directly in the Parable of the Talents:
Matthew 25:14 “For it will be like a man about to leave home for awhile, who entrusted his possessions to his servants. 15 To one he gave five talents [equivalent to a hundred years’ wages]; to another, two talents; and to another, one talent — to each according to his ability. Then he left.”
Notice that the distribution is intentional. It’s measured. It’s personal. Comparison is misplaced because allocation differs by design.
Contentment says:
Psalm 16:6 says: “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.”
This is astonishing. David is not wealthy beyond measure. He is not free from enemies. He is not free from betrayal.
But he views his boundaries as pleasant because the One who set them is trustworthy.
Modern happiness says: “If I had their portion, I’d be happy.”
Contentment says: “If God is wise, my portion is appropriate.”
One fuels envy. The other produces stability.
Biblical contentment is simply the recognition that God assigns portions. We trust that His assignment is wise and we refuse to define life by comparison. The discipline of gratitude exists within the limitations.
It does not mean you never grow, improve, or pursue excellence as this is our responsibility as believers. What it does mean is that you do not believe someone else’s allotment would finally satisfy you. It means you truly believe you are a child of God.
This is why Scripture commands rest. Sabbath teaches the soul to trust provision without striving, and trust is the soil where contentment grows.
An orphan mindset is one of the worst entry points for covetousness. An orphan believes that resources are scarce and if you don’t fight for it, you will lose it. Other people, especially believers, are always seen as your competitor, not your brother. The fruit of this way of life oftentimes includes anxiety, comparison, striving, and hoarding. The big one, though, is that coveting becomes a way of life.
The orphan, or better said, the slave, can never seem to find rest.
But…
Romans 8:15 You did not receive a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you received the Spirit of adoption…
Opposite of the orphan, a son believes their Father provides. And there is absolutely no competition with their siblings. A son’s place is not earned, and their provision flows from relationship. Their inheritance is 100% secure. The fruit of this life is shalom. There is stability and patience. There is trust and generosity. Most of all there is contentment.
There is nothing that anyone has that you want for yourself. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, you know your Father has your best interest at heart.
All you have to do is quit listening to the whispers of the world.
The world will never stop telling you that more is better, that someone else has what you need, and that happiness lies just beyond your current circumstances.
But the tenth command exposes the lie. Coveting is not about possessions, it is about distrust.
It questions God’s wisdom.
It doubts His provision.
It assumes He withheld something necessary for your life.
The orphan lives in that suspicion.
The son does not.
The son rests.
The son trusts.
The son inherits.
So the question is not whether your neighbor has more. The question is whether you trust the Father who assigned your portion.
If you do, comparison loses its power.
If you do, anxiety loses its voice.
If you do, contentment becomes possible.
And when contentment takes root, the restless hunger of coveting finally starves. Because you discover what the world never taught you: God Himself is your portion.
And He is enough.