“Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land which YHVH your God is giving you.”
Do you ever wish you were someone else?
You do realize that would require you to have different parents, right?
“Well,” you say, “if you knew my parents you’d understand that wouldn’t be all bad.”
God chose your parents. They were given to you in order for you to become the son or daughter you need to be. You have the exact parents Abba knew you needed to step fully into the call He has on your life. So don’t resent them. Don’t dishonor them.
Whatever the circumstances, these people have shaped you into who you are at the core of your being.
Were you unconditionally loved?
If so, you are in a position to learn obedience.
Were you abused?
If so, you are in a position to powerfully receive God’s unconditional love.
Were you put up on a pedestal?
If so, you are in a position to understand true humility.
Were you ignored?
If so, you are in a position to care deeply for others.
Were you undisciplined?
If so, you are in a position to receive discipline.
No matter what your childhood experience was like, the odds are quite high you came away feeling as though something was missing, something was off, or your life was somehow incomplete. I think we all perceive we suffered in some way. Other kids had this. Still others did that. And my friend's parents were so much cooler than mine.
So we all suffered. Now you may be asking, “Did God really want me to suffer as a child?”
Absolutely not! He wanted your parents to seek Him in everything they did so that their life would be a model to all the earth on what it means to follow after God. They were to be obedient, submissive, humble, and honoring. They were supposed to be fully healed.
But they weren’t, were they?
Now, you can either sit in judgment on them or extend honor, grace and thankfulness. The choice is yours. And yes, it is a choice.
Before you decide, let’s rotate the table a bit so you can make the wisest decision possible.
Did you feel that inside of you when you read that? You know, that justification that poured down your spine? When we are the ones in the spotlight, all of a sudden we understand grace a little better, huh?
You’ve likely screwed up a fair amount yourself. So how do you want to be judged? Do you want the same measuring stick you use on your parents used upon you?
You may be thinking: “But I’m not as bad as my parents so clearly I’m not as guilty.”
So you like to have standards that move based on your interpretation of how severe the crime?
James 2:8 If you truly attain the goal of Kingdom Torah, in conformity with the passage that says, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well. 9 But if you show favoritism, your actions constitute sin, since you are convicted under the Torah as transgressors. 10 For a person who keeps the whole Torah, yet stumbles at one point, has become guilty of breaking them all.
It’s a really good thing that Abba holds a standard that doesn’t change. How else could we continually move towards being made perfect?
Remember how coveting meant that you wished you were someone else? Is that the same thing that’s happening here?
I believe so. But this is a little different.
With coveting, we wish we were someone else but it’s because of decisions we’ve made. “If I chose a different wife or career, my life would be so much more complete and I’d feel a lot better about myself.”
Here, however, we wish we had a different identity. This is much more difficult to navigate. With coveting, you can divorce your wife and find someone else, or you can quit your job and make more money someplace else. But with your identity…how could you possibly go about changing that?
You can’t.
Wishing you were someone else also introduces a little self-hatred. After all, there is something about yourself you wish were non-existent. You wish part of you were dead. This is an identity issue at its core.
As we go along introducing death and killing portions of our identity, it makes sense your life would be shortened. Death takes away life. Your life.
So what could you do?
Embrace absolutely everything you have received from your parents: hurts, lack of discipline, joy, pains, memories, neglect, etc. Be thankful for it ALL. That has all shaped your very existence.
A child of God Honors the stewards Abba has given them in the earth to bring life to them.
And that will allow you to live long in the land.